Monday, August 2, 2010

Its August Already?!?

Time really seems to fly by these days... it feels like an endless circle of cooking, cleaning, nap, more cooking and cleaning and FINALLY bed time... I am just so exhausted most of the time. I don't even know what I'll do when Baby Stephen gets here and he's asking me to provide for his needs too! On top of all the kid stuff I'm busy doing, I am continuing to lead music at our church... I was so sad to not be doing it, and Peter was really not looking forward to adding more responsibility to his plate. As far as stress goes, it would be far better for the both of us to be serving our church in ministry, not trying to make more money! (Sure, we need it, but after so, so much prayer and careful thought we decided that there are so many things we can give up to help us make it by a little better.)

I have been especially convicted/bothered by the excessiveness of this culture that we live in. I feel so incredibly selfish at times... just yesterday, as we were driving to church I saw two men standing around a white truck, and a lady picking near rotted bananas and other fruits and veggies out of the back of it. I was moved to tears, because I am so blessed that my children and my husband and I don't need to that... and I thought "Would I even be willing to do that?" How many times am I at the store, saying to myself "We need this." When we don't? How many days do I think "I need to buy dinner, because there is nothing to eat in this house." When the fact of the matter is that I am lazy, I am selfish... Lord, turn my eyes and my heart outward, away from myself! How much money and time do we waste by spending, spending, spending for more of what we think we need, but only want? If we all gave up one thing that we wanted, and used that energy or time or money to help someone with less, how much more would Jesus be reflected in our lives? I am even appalled at the amount of time we are giving to church! If we devoted less time to bible studies and "fellowship" and church socials, and more time to ministering to people who might never experience what true love is how much better would the quality of life be for those hungry souls? If I looked around at my neighbor's lives, and truly made an effort to see past the happy masks that they are wearing, could I give them something that they needed? I think yes... and even though I have no extra money to give, I have something... even Peter in Acts chapter 3 verse 6 told a beggar man "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you." And what was it that he gave, that the man needed? In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" And then Peter touched the man, and the power of our Lord made the man strong! Can you imagine... the man asked for something he thought was important... money... and Peter gave him the greatest gift imaginable... the love of Christ, and the ability to walk! I really want to see past myself. Silver or gold I cannot give, but what I have I have in abundance, and there is too much for me to keep to myself!