Merry Christmas?

Finally, finally Christmas is over. Peter and I are still trying to create our own traditions, and to break away from the incredibly secular perspective of this sacred holiday. This year we decided that we would open gifts on Christmas Eve morning, so that we can reserve Christmas day for the celebration of Christ's birth, and let me tell you, even doing that I was severely dissapointed with the end result. My kids began to immediately fight over EVERYTHING in sight, and we were dealing with temper tantrums and cranky, exhausted babies. Then, after the dust of all the exitement settled, I stood in my kitchen and looked out at the pile of useless, unnecessary things that our beloved (and well meaning) families had bestowed upon us. I could not release from my mind the picture of starving, nursing mothers in other countries stripping their bodies of health to provide nourishment for their children, and of starving, barefooted toddlers and preschoolers who sleep in filthy conditions at night. I began to cry. I simply have no words for the grief that I feel over the wasted dollars this Christmas. If I had asked for our families to spend half as much as they did on us, and put the rest toward someone elses genuine need, many, many people would not go to bed hungry. Somewhere, a sick baby could have medication that would save his life. Somebody could have shoes on their tired feet. Instead, my priveledged sons and daughters have toys that will break, toys that they will forget about one day. They were granted a fleeting moment of happiness when they could have seen true joy in sharing with those that have less. They could have been taught that Christmas is not about recieving, and really not even about giving. (After all, we do not give to strangers in need, but to family with more than enough.) It was a terrible day for me, and I could only cry out to my Savior to forgive me for my selfishness in allowing this to happen. Even now my heart breaks at the lost opportunity to share the love of Jesus. Oh, Father, help us to make wise choices in every moment of our lives! Help us to consider others better than ourselves, and help us to teach our children to share even when they (and we) think that there is not enough! Be enough for us, and make us content with our simple, daily provisions.

Hurry up and wait!

I've been slowly, slowly, slowly sifting through our things and packing (or giving away) our stuff. Simon's room has become the storage room... We sold our car yesterday. (The very first thing that Peter and I bought together, before we were married! We brought our first 2 children home from the hospital in it.) I cannot believe that we have been together for that long, to have purchased something so large and expensive, and created memories with it, and then to say goodbye to it! Even weirder is the fact that we sold it to a neighbor, and we will see it from time to time driving around! But it feels good to see things begin to move in the direction of Colorado.

Peter gave our 30 days notice to our apartment complex. They told him we aren't allowed to leave until our lease is over, in February. AHHH!!! So, now the wait begins. I've packed the bulk of our non-essentials, and now suddenly to have to live without them for a month and a half has made me feel like I NEED THEM NOW! But, in the boxes they will stay, because there is absolutely no way I want to feel like I've wasted my time by packing them, and getting them back out, and packing them again.

We are potty training, again. Simon is really, really resisting it. (He's young, I know. Boys do it later, but darn it, I don't like how much we spend on diapers, when I have a child who is perfectly capable of going on the potty.) Under normal circumstances I don't bribe my kids, but in order to get him to just sit on it I have to offer him a chocolate chip. (Sugar free carob, actually, but he likes it all the same.) The first day was terrible. Pee everywhere, temper tantrums over not getting a diaper... the second day, I asked Sarah to teach him how to go pee on the potty, and can you believe it, she actually did? Now I have to bribe him to sit, but he knows how to go, and can actually hold it! Yippee!!! (Not sure if I would officially call him potty trained, but we are well on our way!)

So, here we sit, waiting on the Lord to send us on our way.

I am humbled...

So, Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now we are in the Christmas season! It is our tradition to get out all of our snowmen and tree and decorate the Saturday after thanksgiving. This year instead of packing the "rest of the year" belongings as if we would get them back out we packed them to stay in the boxes until they are unpacked in our new house in Colorado. We also set our Nativity scenes out, and while we were doing that I told the Christmas Story... the precious tale of the the Christ Child... God in Flesh! to my two amazing daughters. Their eyes never came off of the Virgin Mary, the Man-Father Joseph, the shepherds, the angel, they were riveted... I've never seen them so still! Then before I was done soaking up the presence of the Holy Spirit moving in our hearts the girls were gone, and I was left wondering if the story actually did touch them, or if I imagined it. Lilah came back and begged me to put the Baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph (He won't be found there until Christmas morning!) and Sarah came and said she wanted to show Mommy and Daddy something. This is what we found.

She made a nativity! We were so very, very proud of her...

We are also in the process of organizing our move. We are currently searching for a place to live, and selling most of our large possessions so that we don't have to hassle with taking them with us. (And so that we can pay our rent!) We've suprisingly sold most of what we were hoping would go... and as I was mulling over my day I suddenly felt sad that my stuff was being separated, and passed out... a lot of it for much, much less than we paid for it. Then I was reminded by the Lord of my true value... value that could only be found in the blood of Christ. I am not worth the things that I own, and I should not find my solace in these things that are unimportant. I am a traveler here... a stranger in a land that I will never be comfortable in. Mattew 8:20 speaks of the cost of following Jesus. In fact, Jesus himself speaks of the cost. When a man said to Jesus "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." He said "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Will I accept this? Will I choose Christ even if it means discomfort? Will I choose Christ even if it means sacrifice? Yes. And I will find my worth in the eyes of the one who made me! I will not be sad, but grateful for the opportunity to serve, and I am humbled that, though I am unworthy, I have been entrusted with these earthly treasures, for the Lord's purpose.

Please continue to pray for us. For our move and for us to have faith that the Lord will provide for our daily needs.