Its August Already?!?

Time really seems to fly by these days... it feels like an endless circle of cooking, cleaning, nap, more cooking and cleaning and FINALLY bed time... I am just so exhausted most of the time. I don't even know what I'll do when Baby Stephen gets here and he's asking me to provide for his needs too! On top of all the kid stuff I'm busy doing, I am continuing to lead music at our church... I was so sad to not be doing it, and Peter was really not looking forward to adding more responsibility to his plate. As far as stress goes, it would be far better for the both of us to be serving our church in ministry, not trying to make more money! (Sure, we need it, but after so, so much prayer and careful thought we decided that there are so many things we can give up to help us make it by a little better.)

I have been especially convicted/bothered by the excessiveness of this culture that we live in. I feel so incredibly selfish at times... just yesterday, as we were driving to church I saw two men standing around a white truck, and a lady picking near rotted bananas and other fruits and veggies out of the back of it. I was moved to tears, because I am so blessed that my children and my husband and I don't need to that... and I thought "Would I even be willing to do that?" How many times am I at the store, saying to myself "We need this." When we don't? How many days do I think "I need to buy dinner, because there is nothing to eat in this house." When the fact of the matter is that I am lazy, I am selfish... Lord, turn my eyes and my heart outward, away from myself! How much money and time do we waste by spending, spending, spending for more of what we think we need, but only want? If we all gave up one thing that we wanted, and used that energy or time or money to help someone with less, how much more would Jesus be reflected in our lives? I am even appalled at the amount of time we are giving to church! If we devoted less time to bible studies and "fellowship" and church socials, and more time to ministering to people who might never experience what true love is how much better would the quality of life be for those hungry souls? If I looked around at my neighbor's lives, and truly made an effort to see past the happy masks that they are wearing, could I give them something that they needed? I think yes... and even though I have no extra money to give, I have something... even Peter in Acts chapter 3 verse 6 told a beggar man "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you." And what was it that he gave, that the man needed? In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" And then Peter touched the man, and the power of our Lord made the man strong! Can you imagine... the man asked for something he thought was important... money... and Peter gave him the greatest gift imaginable... the love of Christ, and the ability to walk! I really want to see past myself. Silver or gold I cannot give, but what I have I have in abundance, and there is too much for me to keep to myself!

Its been awhile...

My computer broke, and I've been busy. I don't even know where we left off here... I think it was even way before Simon boy turned 1... before he started walking... and before we knew that we are going to have another boy! We were planning to move into San Francisco. (My heart still cries out for that beautiful, lost city) but came to Marin City instead. The Lord knows what he's doing... I am only just now after months of struggling to trust Him growing to love this place. We will be here for quite a long time, I think. Our church needs us right now, and the souls here need us to be the Love of Christ. Also, I think I started leading the music at our church, and now have begun the process of stepping down from that position.

There is just so, so much that needs to get done at our church. We were meeting with the elders to discuss the posibility of me taking on a permanent role, rather than a temporary "interim" position, but they can't pay me! And Peter is trying to find another job. Once we have 4 kids and Peter will be gone several evenings a week I don't think I can be gone too. So, I'm trying to figure out how to continue the things that nobody else is willing to do, while not being there to play piano or supervise practices. We are also trying to initiate a clean up day in our church (some people have begun storing things from their house at the church! Not to mention the incredible amount of broken tables, chairs, and other random things) and to re-do the nursery. The nursery is filled with old things that are broken and unsafe (Some are not appropriate for any child under age 3). Not to mention large shelves and drawers that are not mounted to the wall. There are no pictures in the nursery, or any bright, colorful books to read. On top of all this, our newborns, toddlers, and early preschoolers are all kept in the same room. Is it any wonder why our kids are the only ones the church has? So, we are also trying to coordinate with the rest of the church leadership how to begin an age 3-? children's hour during the church service. It is an uphill battle, and we are left wondering why on earth do we need to fight to get this done? We have been polite and soft spoken, but at this point I think that even the stones in the parking lot are going to begin hollering, so Peter and I are praying for the courage to stand up for what we know needs to get done. If they want growth (spiritual or in people numbers) we are equipped from the whole rest of our life experience to help them.

On a much lighter note, here are our big kids...



This is a typical dinner at our house. The girls are kitty cats... and kitty cats don't use spoons. Can you believe that crazy spoon Peter is using to feed Simon? Yes, its a serving spoon. He's such a Weirdo.

It makes no sense...

Farmers in Florida are chopping down their strawberry crops... it is so incredibly unbelievable to me, how thoughtless these actions are. To some of us, they are just strawberries. To the farmers, the only thing they are thinking is that they are losing money on them... apparently from the freezing temperatures this winter they had to take drastic measures to save the crops, and as a result of the cost to save them, and the fact that the strawberries are just now becoming ripe, there are too many to make a profit on them, so rather than sell them (they would lose money to ship them anywhere) they are cutting up their crops. Thousands upon thousands of strawberries wasted... there are food banks and homeless shelters all over the place, and instead of donating them, or selling them for really cheap, they are throwing them away. I understand that strawberries can't be sent overseas to places that are starving, and that these farmers need to make a living too, but the money is already gone. It won't hurt anyone to share the extra. There is one farmer who has "changed his mind" and is letting anyone who wants them come and take away as much as they want for free. At least someone has come to their senses.

I just think that this is a sign of the selfishness and greed of our culture. Here in America we don't have to think twice about throwing away food (and sometimes other stuff too.) Most of us get what we want, when we want it... food, clothing, material possessions. I knew a girl in college who had so many clothes she forgot which ones she already bought, and had multiples of shirts and pants... sometimes three or four multiples! And how many of us cook too much food for dinner, and then throw away the rest, because "We just don't like leftovers..." (I know that sometimes I do that because, really, mashed potatoes are not that good microwaved...) I am feeling especially convicted of senseless waste... I think that its time I counted the things that I have, rather than the things I have not, and become a better example to my children of how blessed we truly are.

My heart is breaking...

I just cannot believe the earthquake that hit Chile this morning/last night... I heard from our pastor this morning at music practice, and kept thinking "Nothing I do can be enough for the suffering, and the pain of those in other parts of the world." First the tragedy of Haiti, and when it finally seems as though the help that we (the USA and other countries) are sending is beginning to get through another tragedy happens.

I was reminded of the bible verse that talks about how we will hear of wars and rumors of wars, and that there will be earthquakes and we will know that the end is nearing, and was filled with a new sense of urgency. Peter and I are called to San Francisco to minister to the lost in that beautiful city, but I am so heartbroken over the fact that I am just one. My hands are small and I am a fragile human. I can only be in one place, and it seems that no amount of money or time could ever fix the REAL tragedy. Lives lost that will never know Jesus. Lives that will never know the peace of the Christ Child, or the mercy and forgiveness of the Sovereign Father. I am grieving the loss of these people that will never be grafted into my family tree. I know that the greatest thing anybody could do is pray. Our Lord is mighty to save, and He is capable of moving mountains... He is far greater than this small soul could ever imagine or understand. So I will pray, and I am asking you to pray also. Let us raise our voices to the heavens.

We've all been sick... the kiddos have a cold, plus Simon is teething. I think he's getting 6 teeth all at once! We've also discovered that he throws up when he gets teeth. He did it last time, and he did it this time too. Just once, and right before bed. I don't know if its from being really fussy, or stressed out, or from the pain. Whatever it is I feel bad for him. He's the king, as you can see from the pictures. The first one is him watching Baby Einstein, (he has discovered the t.v.) and the other two are from the other day. I made him a pillow "throne" and he just sat there. It was the only thing that kept him from screaming his head off. (Other than being cradled by me. But I had to wash the dishes. Three sick kids and my house falls apart.) When he saw the camera he tried to smile. Silly Boy. February is almost over. I don't know what it was about this month, but it was not a good month for us. I'm ready to move on to March.

I have failed...

I quit. I just can't believe how impossible it seems to take a few pictures every day... I feel like I'm constantly doing the same things over and over and over again... I figured out why... I have mess making elves living with me...

I DON'T LIKE SAUCE!!!!

I totally took pictures of the other two, but this one needs to stand alone. Hilarious. Here is what our night was like last night.

First, Sarah refused to eat anyways... finally she ate something, and when I got up from the table to check the cupcakes that I was baking the exorcist happened. Amongst all of my children, and my husband also. I've become a pro at ignoring, so whatever... I was all zen ninja in the kitchen, and then I hear "Sarah Elizabeth! You sit down right now!" And an odd splashing sound. She had poured my entire cup of water into the entire pot of spaghetti sauce. After administering justice... I mean, discipline....she was brought back to the table, and instructed to finish eating her food, because she screamed for more, and now has to eat it. (We don't normally force our kids to finish their food, except when they insist on taking a LARGE amount and then not even taking one bite.) And also her sauce, because, lets face it, thats the healthy part of the noodles... She took a bite of her noodles, chewed them up, and SPIT them directly into the already ruined pot of sauce, that I was going to freeze and thicken later. (I hate wasting. I know its cliche, but there are people in other parts of the world who are starving. I will not ever take for granted the fact that I have food in my stomache anytime I want it. We eat everything, even if we think its gross or simply don't feel like having leftovers...) So, justice (I mean, discipline) Was once again administered, and she was once again instructed to finish her food. She chose to leave it there and go play, until it really sank in that she was either going to eat that when all the rest of us tasted the cupcakes with chocolate frosting, or have it for breakfast the next day. (By the way. I still saved that sauce. I'm not kidding. I hate wasting. All the germs will cook out of it when I boil it for 5 minutes... just, if you come to my house for spaghetti in the next couple of weeks, know that its probably the spit spaghetti, and you might want to eat before hand.)