I haven't left the house in two weeks, and the weather has been cold and snowy. I am pale, my eyes are squinty, and all's we do is watch YouTube and Disney+ in the afternoons. I'm only secure enough to share this because I average zero views on my blogs. I just write open letters to nobody.
I have heard rumblings about protests being organized against the quarantine orders now. I predicted that this would not happen. It is good that it is. This means that people are becoming aware of their status. Do you remember when I talked about Karl Marx, the Bourgeoisie (property owners), and the Proletariat (workers)? The only way he says that any change can come to society is if the Proletariat become aware of the system. The fancy way he called it was "class consciousness." Maybe, just maybe, things will change for the better from this, instead of how the conspiracy theories say it will go.
Nothing much happened this week. I think I offended a lot of people. I do that often. So, now I have been thinking about relationships. Nobody gets them right.
I am usually un- apologetically how I am. I do not offer reasons for why I don't do stuff... like, if I don't feel like showing up at your party, I'll just say "No, I can't make it." Explanations are for people who can't own their decisions. (Opinion, not fact.) I call stuff like that excuses. I have a friend who gets annoyed at this. She actually came at me a number of YEARS ago and said "I want to know why you don't come around. You need to tell me why you can't make it." It was a whole thing between us, but she stuck around and so did I. She bugs me so bad sometimes... and I couldn't live life without her. I still don't say why, when she invites me places. You wanna know what she does? She says "Oh, darn. I'll miss you. Why won't you be there?"
I think we are all built with these internal, "the way I am" kind of mechanisms. Sometimes we do not like the way we behave, and strive to do better. We choose to shift the actions we take in order to fit in better, and we know we've done well when people accept us, or approve of us. Erving Goffman talked about this. It is called Dramaturgy. Click the link to read more and get smarter!
(https://www.thoughtco.com/goffmans-front-stage-and-back-stage-behavior-4087971)
I like me. It took a lot of years of therapy to realize this. I also know that I am too much of the things I should be less of, and not enough of the things I should be more of. I have friends who are brave enough to call bullshit on me. I have others who (maybe?) think that I can't handle the truth. Here's how it is, though.
I am kind.
I am thoughtful.
I do not say mean things on purpose.
I don't even know they sound mean when I say them.
I love deeply.
I am loyal, and faithful.
I am honest because I believe everyone deserves honesty.
That last one is hard to swallow. I want to share my opinions when I have a strong one because... I care about you enough to even be thinking about what you're doing.
I wish for the same. Even if my feelings get hurt, even if I think its none of your business, even if you behave like a total ass hat and I have to tell you how to do it better next time. You deserve to know when you've hurt my feelings, and how to avoid that next time.
I deserve to know when I've done that to you.
Yesterday while I was laying around all sexy like that mole rat picture, we watched Lilo and Stitch. I really love that movie. Do you know that part where Stitch eats Lilo's cake? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoyvZuZXDDw) This is only one example of how Lilo helped Stitch learn to be better. There was no format to how she did this. She simply expressed what she was feeling. She did the best she knew how to do, because the success of her relationship with Stitch depended on speaking up.
I don't even know how I'd respond if you ate my cake.
Lilo wasn't afraid to tell Stitch how to behave properly. And, in the meantime, teaching Stitch about proper behavior helped Lilo too. (She just couldn't get it together, no matter how well meaning and sincere she was...)
Proverbs 27:17 says "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."
Lets not shy away from sharpening, nor from being sharpened. Be blessed, Dear Ones.
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