My last post was in December of last year! And I can remember Peter and I talking about the new year, and how it was going to be "a good year." We were so expectant of some really wonderful and amazing things to happen... And we were right! Except that our idea of "wonderful and amazing" is a completely different thing compared to the wisdom of our God.

   In 2010 we began making preparations to move to Colorado, and in my opinion is the beginning of our incredible journey... just one of the larger scale landscapes of the big picture that makes up my life. In February of 2011, we left everything familiar and came to Colorado. I can remember feeling as though we were really, really pushing ourselves to get here. And when we got to Colorado Springs, our first stop in Colorado, we let out our breath... and took a couple of days in the hotel there to regroup and recover. We had a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a 1 year old, and itty bitty Stephen was 4 months old! We had no place to live, and no source of income. All we knew is that Sovereign asked us to go, and we would do anything to obey. We jumped in with both feet, terrified but knowing from the last landscape that He always provides, and often in ways that are miraculous and knowledge-defying. He did. We were given the phone number of a family who would let us stay in their home, with them. (In Greeley. Pay attention to this detail. I know who goes before me!) Our first experience with communal living, though I was just too overwhelmed by their hospitality and kindness to pay much attention to it. And the day we got to The Springs, Peter got a phone call to interview for a job. It was one he would later take, and it would  bring us to Aurora. After a month...? (Details escaped me for most of the 3 years we were traveling through this place. I wrote down what I could, but it was difficult to keep total track.) we left Greeley to move to.... a hotel! We lived there while trying to buy a small townhouse. It fell through. I'll spare all the boring details, but it was quite exhausting. And life shaping. We ended up finally getting an apartment down the road, and Peter started working another job at Chic fil a, on top of his school job. There were days when it seemed life he left at 6:30 in the morning, and didn't come home until 11:00 pm. I don't know if that was true, but its the way I remember it. (C'mon April. Stop being dramatic.) Some other things happened... blah, blah. The whole time in our apartment in Aurora I struggled to feel as though there was a purpose to my being there. We tried to reach our neighbors, but our hearts weren't in it. We came expecting to do these grand things for the glory of God, and were frustrated that we weren't allowed to do them. But someone Peter and I have a lot of respect for told us at some point that its ok to wait for God, as long as He's the one making you wait. It made it a little more bearable, but maybe we started using that as an excuse. I don't know. We were so used to doing things for God that were physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting that we had to learn to serve him in our every day. We did. We were finally still, and moldable, and then he began to stir in us that fire that we brought with us from California. Our goal was still the same, but our dreams had shifted to become more like God's vision. And things just HAPPEN when we are on the same page as the Author.

   So, 2013, and we try to buy a house in Aurora/Denver. It didn't work. We thought "Here we go again. Its always gotta be so hard!" But then Peter said "What about Greeley." He was kidding. Greeley smells like poo, sometimes, and its small. There's nothing to do except shop at the second hand stores. We laughed. Haha, funny thought. But then a week later... you know how it goes. That quiet way the Lord speaks. We obeyed as soon as we knew it was from Him. And we were under contract for a house. The Perfect House. I'll probably always call it that. It really wasn't perfect. Looking back it was so... not. But I still believe that even though this Perfect House took us down a really unpredictable path, it was divinely appointed. Such a silly way to view something so material, but like I said before, the Wisdom of God is a really amazing thing.

   We were really right on top of our closing date. In an attempt to stream line our move and save money we gave our notice to our apartment complex before we actually had keys in hand. The whole process had gone smooth-ish. We expected hiccups in the closing. Things just happen. Except the seller eventually decided he didn't want to sell his house anymore. It was a short sale, and he was upset that he was losing all the money from the deal. The bank was taking it all. He would rather have had a foreclosure. Misery loves company, right? So we found ourselves threatened with homelessness. It was terrifying, but not something foreign to us. We drove toward it 3 years ago! If it wasn't for the hospitality of a friend I don't know what we would have done. We found ourselves wonderfully and unexpectedly ushered into this woman's home, and sharing meals and life with her and her precious family. We were blessed beyond measure to be in this scary situation of not knowing any of our future. And blessed and honored to share so closely the life of someone else. It is a beautiful experience.  I think everyone should do it at least once.

   But all good things must come to an end, and not every one thinks people should share. I suppose if I pause and think about from the perspective of a landlord it makes more sense that you wouldn't want unknown people in your house. But long story short, the landperson found out we were "living" in the house and threatened to take measures if we didn't leave. I think he was trying to be understanding about our situation, but the bottom line was "get out of my house." (At least, that's how I felt.) We sent a desperate email to our church family, all the while me imagining us standing in line for hours outside of some church or homeless shelter waiting for a few pews or dirty cots to sleep on... next to stinky, bearded homeless men. (Geez, I am so dramatic. And maybe a little shallow.) In the end, Sovereign had a plan, and we were blessed (again!) to live with an incredible Godly man who really offered all of himself and all of his home, and resources to us. We were there for almost 2 months. I was so sad to leave, and also so relieved. I spent every night laying down these old gym mats and covering them with sheets and blankets so we could sleep on the basement floor, and every morning folding them up and clearing the floor for our day. We could be upstairs, but the kids (and I... maybe me more than them) broke stuff. He usually just laughed and said "Well, I never used that anyway. Now I don't have to feel like I need to keep it." All the while we were living in Larry's basement there were several other people who came and slept in his other empty rooms, and blessed us with their lives, and experience, and friendship. I really couldn't say enough that it was a beautiful, wonderful experience. I never felt lonely, and sometimes it was hard... but in the end I really, really miss it. Seriously. I keep trying to find the words to describe it, and have none, but I hope that one day we can do it again.

   And all the while, we were struggling, and learning, and being faithful to follow the Lord's guidance. Eventually, the Perfect House was no longer an option, but its purpose was apparent. And Peter, at some point in the process had taken a job in Greeley. Its meant to be temporary, because the hours are terrible. (6 pm to 4 am?) When the house was totally finished we got an apartment. We moved. We intended to stay there until our lease ran its course. But... then that Voice. We went out looking for more houses, expecting it to be some other fiasco... except after a long, exhausting day of looking at one house or another that wasn't quite right we found it. The RIGHT House. It is so much better than the Perfect House. The floor plan is better, the yard is better, and the neighbors are so... ripe? Ha. Are they bananas... and apples, and oranges? Perhaps wheat. What I can tell you is that the harvest is plentiful... and while there are few workers, we know that there are people here in Greeley that we've been humbled to "bump" into, who have knowledge and resources they want to share.... But I digress.

    What I was saying is that the Right House came along, and surprisingly we found ourselves just about a month later signing papers. The keys were in our hand, and we looked at each other like deer caught in those deadly headlights... we were done. And then the reality of what we've taken on sunk in. Oh, my... how could Jesus think that we were worthy of this task? This house... this material item that we worked so hard to acquire... was not OURS. Its purpose, though its history with us has thus far been short, is also apparent. Our neighbors already WANT a relationship with us. And you know what? I LOVE them in a way that I have never loved a stranger. When I see them I can't help but think "What about eternity? What if they spend all of time separated from God, because I am too busy, or afraid, to tell them that they don't have to!" Jesus loves them! I tell my kids every night before I leave their rooms "Jesus loves you... because you are Simon. You are Stephen... Delilah, Sarah, Miriam." He loves you only because you are you! He loves me only because I am me! How can such a simple truth be twisted into something as complicated as many of us make it? He loved me before I could prove I was worthy. I never could. Dramatic, Shallow, Afraid, Frail, me. I am loved... and he asks nothing from me. But why would I keep this truth from those who don't know? I owe it to those in humanity traveling this terrifying road of life to tell them! This journey we found ourselves on taught me about the richness of a human life. All the people we lived closely with came from different places in life, and have different interests, and slightly different beliefs than I do. But we made each other's lives better. And I can't wait to FINALLY start what we came here to do... now that we've finished it, too. Praise God for his plan...

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 John 4:10-12