Coping With Stress

Last week I received an email from one of my college professors. I have been accepted into the Sociology Master's program, and part of the program is an opportunity to get hired as a teaching assistant. The benefit of this position is that it pays a stipend, as well as half of the tuition.

It was my intent to apply for the position, but then Coronavirus happened, and my kids were doing online school, and the entire future of my whole life for the next 60 years was in question. (Just kidding. Doesn't it feel like that sometimes, though?) So... I ignored the deadline, and ignored the second (extended) deadline, and then did absolutely nothing.

The email my academic advisor sent went something like "I see that you haven't applied for a TA position. Why not?"

I ended up applying extra late, and found out a few short days later that I was accepted for the position! Yippee!!!

This situation had me thinking about how we deal with stress. It kind of goes hand in hand with the concepts we've been talking about... rewriting the narrative, and how we seek comfort.

There is a theory called "Stress Appraisal Theory." This refers to how we confront stressful situations in our lives. There is the primary appraisal which is when we decide if the situation is stressful to us, and if its even relevant to us. Then there is the secondary appraisal which is when we decide what our options for coping are.

If a situation is deemed to be merely challenging, or threatening, then we may allow ourselves more time to evaluate our options. If we feel that there is imminent harm we evaluate and react immediately.

All outcomes and decisions are based on an individuals intersections in life. (Google the word "intersectionality" if you want to get smarter.) And, having past experience with stressors makes us more capable of dealing with stressors in appropriate ways. Imagine that!

You can learn more about Stress Appraisal Theory by clicking the link below!

http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-psychology-theories/stress-appraisal-theory/

Apparently, I decided that the stresses of being a Teaching Assistant were to be avoided at all costs. Maybe I decided that doing something about it was going to be harmful, and my immediate reaction was to run in the other direction.

I've been called an avoider more times than once in my life.

Here's the kicker, though. Even when we visit scripture we are encouraged to embrace opportunities for growth (James 1:2-4). We are invited into a relationship with Christ, which he promised would be difficult (Matthew 7:13-14). Stress doesn't need to be something to be avoided. It can be something that we perceive as being "challenging" instead of "harmful." And if we believe that every difficult circumstance we face in life is a opportunity for growth then I think that we will indeed become better, stronger people.

Is there a stressor in your life that you can embrace as an opportunity for growth, rather than fearing the harm it may cause?

Craig D. Lounsbrough, a counselor and writer said "If I am to excel in this life in any manner that is worthwhile, I must understand that ease is not a lifestyle. Rather, it is the brief and very momentary gift that we are granted because we have spent the bulk of our time purposely engaging that which is hard."

Happy engaging, Dear Ones!