We are here.

Today was an especially hard day. There was nothing exceptional that made it difficult... the morning happened just like usual. But then, THE PANCAKES. Yesterday we went grocery shopping. And I mean we really, really went grocery shopping. I had to buy everything. Meat, fruits, vegetables. (Can I just talk about the fruits and veggies here? They are terrible. I paid almost $2 for a pound of broccoli that was all wilty and sad looking... I never knew how great California produce was. Not to mention the freaking expensive sushi here.) So, anyways... I bought some gluten free pancake mix just for fun. Here in the hotel we are living at there is a "kitchen" with "pots and pans." Whatever. There's a stove. Microwave. And some ghetto melted plastic cooking spoons and some lame cookware. (Everyday is a challenge and a lesson in being thankful for my daily provisions... I'm a work in progress, what can I say?) It was a fiasco. Smoke, burnt pancakes, and Sarah saying "Daddy, does mommy even know how to cook pancakes?" It was because they were gluten free, and called for a NON-STICK skillet. In the end it was fine, but it just really, really annoyed me that something like yummy pancakes were so difficult to pull off. Next time I'm going to Denny's.

And, the kids were so whiny... we are still getting over a cold/flu thing... parenting is a challenge here in such a small, confined space. Its easy to get caught up in what we don't have... I constantly have to check my attitude, and then remind my babies about others. Lord, help me to not turn myself inward! Less of me... less of me!

We have found that renting a place out here is proving to be more difficult than we anticipated. I might be paranoid, but once folks hear that we have 4... count them 4! Small Ones they look down their noses at us. I've observed that there are actually a lot of large families out here in beautiful Colorado, but they tend to be in the lower income bracket, and renters don't really want to mess around with that. So, we are currently shopping for a house to buy. We have been talking about this for a long time, and planned to buy a house in the next year or so... our plans are just being accelerated, and we are excited that the Lord has blessed us with this opportunity NOW! This means that all of our other long-term goals are also going to happen faster than we planned. The low-income community is near Colfax, (the main street, that goes through Denver) so we are going to be looking in that area. We have driven through it several times, and the souls there are crying out. We are excited, excited, excited to meet them.

It snowed last night, while we were sleeping. I think that it has snowed about 3 or 4 times since we've been here. It is amazing... incredible... indescribable. I've seen snow before, but these times since moving here I am reminded, every time, of the gift of salvation. The turmoil of the clouds, the ugliness of the dead grass, the bone-chilling cold that permeates everything is wiped away... it becomes flawless and pure. There is beauty, and it is made new. And it all happens while I am sleeping.

This is my hope for the community that we are here to love. That they would know the peace, and the pure love of The Creator. The One who washes the earth clean with the rain. The One who covers the earth with snow. The One who makes the sun rise on a desolate world. The One who is responsible for the mountains, the stars, the ocean... He loves them! He loves THEM!

Are we there yet?!?

It has been ONE. LONG. WEEK. We began last week finishing up packing and cleaning... and on the Tuesday before we moved we had no place to go to, and no job. Then on Wednesday, while taking the car to the shop for an emergency fix Peter got a phone call from our good friend asking "Do you have a house yet?" As it turns out, someone from Greeley, Colorado had moved to Oakland and was having trouble renting his house. After a phone call or two we made arrangements for us to fill out the paperwork as soon as we got to the area. We left on Thursday hopefull and in good spirits. (But, still no job! Eeeek!)

We didn't do much stopping once we hit the road, we were going! At one point, on our first day, we stopped at Wal-Mart to get a roof top carrier for our car. (We were like the McSardine family riding along with all our stuff on our laps! Ha!) Then while Peter put it up and packed it up I put all of our lunch food in a cart. (Bread, crackers, lunch meat... etc.) While I was wheeling it across the parking lot the sudden feeling of being homeless and pushing our things along to nowhere in particular hit me... And Sarah also began to comlain about where she was eating, and how she was eating, and what she was eating, and how much she had... on and on and on! It was awful! Then I noticed a homeless man sitting on the corner of the street, holding a sign, that said "Homeless. Please Help." I was struck by the simple desperation of his cry... and turned to my Young Ones and pointed him out. I explained to them that even though we might not like what we have, we still have. The man on the corner didn't have any food or bed to look forward to, and that he didn't know when he would have anything like string cheese or buttery crackers. I then asked if they thought that since we had extra we might make him a lunch and take it to him? Of course they were excited to share, and I have not heard any more complaints (of that magnitude) since then.

I have been awed and humbled by the beauty of the landscape surrounding us in every moment of this drive. Who could I possibly be, that the Creator would make something as marvelous as Earth... mountains, desert, mesas, ocean... and still he loves ME! He became the atoning sacrifice so I wouldn't have to die. I must really be something special to him... Every day has been a new lesson in life for me. I have really been feeling the gentle (and sometimes painful!) chipping away of flesh... I am being refined. This move has challenged me to the core, and I am grateful to the Lord for pushing me onward, and for shaping my heart... for preparing me for His Great Purpose!

Today I think that Peter and I were both really struggling with being here, and still being nowhere. We took a day off from the road and rested. We visited The Garden of the Gods (another magnificent testimony to the awesomeness of our Savior) But at one point right after nap we were both really wrestling with ourselves... I was reminding myself that the Lord has gone before us, and that he has a plan for work and home... and then Peter's phone rang. It was a school in Aurora calling to schedule an interview! I almost choked, and almost cried, and almost laughed at the absurdity of it all... (Though it is an hour away from where we want to live...) Even though we know that Peter might be one of many interviewing for this job, it reminded us that everything will come to pass. I surrendered myself to Christ once again today...

2 Week Countdown!

Time is moving along at a frantic pace these days! We have a timeline of events that are happening to mark our move. Our furniture is being taken apart and wrapped in plastic to help it last through "just one more move." (Lets face it, our stuff is cheap. What can we expect when we bought it all at IKEA?) (Plus, this is more than likely NOT our last move.) All of our furniture has been sold, except the couches. We will probably end up taking them with us, since they are in fine condition, and it would be pretty wasteful to just toss them in the dumpster. We are living out of suitcases, and I haven't been to the grocery store for stocking up purposes in over 2 months! The kids are doing much better with the idea of leaving, and I think that we are all becoming more excited than dreadful of the unknown.

Some fun facts about Denver, Colorado: There are at least 80 different neighborhoods in Denver, and no two neighborhoods are characterized in the same way. On top of these neighborhoods there are 200 parks in the city. (As of 2006) and the huge city park in 314 acres! It is the 24th most populous city in the USA, is about 70% white, and 30% hispanic. The average age of the Denver population is 33 years old. 10% of families are below the poverty line. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denver_CO) (There is much, much more info on Denver in this article, if you want to know more about where we are going)
Crime in Denver is high. A person's chance of becoming a victim of either violent crime, or property crime is 1 in 16. However, this is low compared to other cities whose size is similar to Denver. (A person's chance of becoming a victim of violent crime is 1 in 123, and property crime is 1 in 16) (according to this website http://www.neighborhoodscout.com/co/denver/crime/)

We are excited to get to this city and begin to get to know its people... we are still searching for a home, and a job, but we are peaceful and trusting of the Lord's provisions. We hope to find a community that is primarily low income families (and hopefully high crime rates) so that we can reach them with Hope Eternal... and offer them the Life-Giving blood of Christ.

As a final note, I have begun to read to the kiddos from Proverbs every day. I write a few verses down on a paper in kid language, and am making a little book of them. This morning, as I was paraphrasing Proverbs 2: 6 (For the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.) I was reminded of James 1:5. (If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault.) Please pray for us to continue to surrender our lives completely to the Lord, and if any of you are having trouble understanding our move, and our motivation, please ask the Lord to reveal His heart, and our hearts to you. Also pray for the precious souls in Denver, Colorado, to be prepared and ready to recieve The Word in Flesh!

Just some ramblings and updates...

So, the countdown to Colorado has begun. After a valiant search on the part of every single person in this house we found a calendar. (Nobody had ANY in our area) (Mommy was going crazy without a way to track my days.... I was about to start carving tally marks in the wall.) Its Zhu-Zhu pets, the latest craze among the three oldest McClure children. Today is the 9th, (right?) So we're leaving in just a month! So far, all the ducks are in order. Except, um, a place to live and an income. Here I am, FREAKING OUT. Peter is so calm on the outside, (probably not on the inside) and I know that no matter what happens the Lord is in control, but this is just dumb. I feel lame, every moment of the day living in prayer, saying to God "Please give us a job and a place to live." Because logic would dictate that we will not move until this is taken care of. But, like Pastor John preached yesterday "Do you choose this, and do you choose to be all in?" We are choosing this, and we are all in, and we are going! Our hotels are booked, most of our things are packed, we will book a moving company by the end of the week. (Don't even get me started on that fiasco.) And I have directions to all of our stops. We have also bought each of the girls a book about moving to a new place, and have some new toys/car activities to bring along. We also have numerous contacts in Denver so that we've got homies watchin' our backs when we get there. Next will be to download an e-book with all the rest stops along our route, and to make a list of grocery stores and pharmacies in each of our destinations. We are barely bringing anything in our car with us... just about enough clothes to last us about half of our drive and the food we need to get us there. (I'm insisting on stopping at a restaurant in New Mexico though. Can you say "Yum!")

Some things to pray for:

Lilah is having a really, really hard time with moving. So am I. Thankfully I am an adult and understand that my things will be there, but Sweet Delilah is quite upset every time I pack a box...

Organization and clarity. It is super hard for me to think while things are so disorganized. I thought that we were moving this month, so a lot of things that would have been useful are packed, not to mention having no specific place for things that we are still using.

Moving expenses/budget: We have been blessed with a significant amount of money for this move, and are cutting as many corners as we can, but we are having a hard time coming in under-budget, and we would really, really like to have a small cushion for after we get to Colorado.

As a side note: Sarah thinks this is an adventure and fun! She helps us to stay positive, and is really helping her brother and sister see the positive side of all of this. She is such a super helper, and I am so proud of her sunshiny self!

Merry Christmas?

Finally, finally Christmas is over. Peter and I are still trying to create our own traditions, and to break away from the incredibly secular perspective of this sacred holiday. This year we decided that we would open gifts on Christmas Eve morning, so that we can reserve Christmas day for the celebration of Christ's birth, and let me tell you, even doing that I was severely dissapointed with the end result. My kids began to immediately fight over EVERYTHING in sight, and we were dealing with temper tantrums and cranky, exhausted babies. Then, after the dust of all the exitement settled, I stood in my kitchen and looked out at the pile of useless, unnecessary things that our beloved (and well meaning) families had bestowed upon us. I could not release from my mind the picture of starving, nursing mothers in other countries stripping their bodies of health to provide nourishment for their children, and of starving, barefooted toddlers and preschoolers who sleep in filthy conditions at night. I began to cry. I simply have no words for the grief that I feel over the wasted dollars this Christmas. If I had asked for our families to spend half as much as they did on us, and put the rest toward someone elses genuine need, many, many people would not go to bed hungry. Somewhere, a sick baby could have medication that would save his life. Somebody could have shoes on their tired feet. Instead, my priveledged sons and daughters have toys that will break, toys that they will forget about one day. They were granted a fleeting moment of happiness when they could have seen true joy in sharing with those that have less. They could have been taught that Christmas is not about recieving, and really not even about giving. (After all, we do not give to strangers in need, but to family with more than enough.) It was a terrible day for me, and I could only cry out to my Savior to forgive me for my selfishness in allowing this to happen. Even now my heart breaks at the lost opportunity to share the love of Jesus. Oh, Father, help us to make wise choices in every moment of our lives! Help us to consider others better than ourselves, and help us to teach our children to share even when they (and we) think that there is not enough! Be enough for us, and make us content with our simple, daily provisions.

Hurry up and wait!

I've been slowly, slowly, slowly sifting through our things and packing (or giving away) our stuff. Simon's room has become the storage room... We sold our car yesterday. (The very first thing that Peter and I bought together, before we were married! We brought our first 2 children home from the hospital in it.) I cannot believe that we have been together for that long, to have purchased something so large and expensive, and created memories with it, and then to say goodbye to it! Even weirder is the fact that we sold it to a neighbor, and we will see it from time to time driving around! But it feels good to see things begin to move in the direction of Colorado.

Peter gave our 30 days notice to our apartment complex. They told him we aren't allowed to leave until our lease is over, in February. AHHH!!! So, now the wait begins. I've packed the bulk of our non-essentials, and now suddenly to have to live without them for a month and a half has made me feel like I NEED THEM NOW! But, in the boxes they will stay, because there is absolutely no way I want to feel like I've wasted my time by packing them, and getting them back out, and packing them again.

We are potty training, again. Simon is really, really resisting it. (He's young, I know. Boys do it later, but darn it, I don't like how much we spend on diapers, when I have a child who is perfectly capable of going on the potty.) Under normal circumstances I don't bribe my kids, but in order to get him to just sit on it I have to offer him a chocolate chip. (Sugar free carob, actually, but he likes it all the same.) The first day was terrible. Pee everywhere, temper tantrums over not getting a diaper... the second day, I asked Sarah to teach him how to go pee on the potty, and can you believe it, she actually did? Now I have to bribe him to sit, but he knows how to go, and can actually hold it! Yippee!!! (Not sure if I would officially call him potty trained, but we are well on our way!)

So, here we sit, waiting on the Lord to send us on our way.

I am humbled...

So, Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now we are in the Christmas season! It is our tradition to get out all of our snowmen and tree and decorate the Saturday after thanksgiving. This year instead of packing the "rest of the year" belongings as if we would get them back out we packed them to stay in the boxes until they are unpacked in our new house in Colorado. We also set our Nativity scenes out, and while we were doing that I told the Christmas Story... the precious tale of the the Christ Child... God in Flesh! to my two amazing daughters. Their eyes never came off of the Virgin Mary, the Man-Father Joseph, the shepherds, the angel, they were riveted... I've never seen them so still! Then before I was done soaking up the presence of the Holy Spirit moving in our hearts the girls were gone, and I was left wondering if the story actually did touch them, or if I imagined it. Lilah came back and begged me to put the Baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph (He won't be found there until Christmas morning!) and Sarah came and said she wanted to show Mommy and Daddy something. This is what we found.

She made a nativity! We were so very, very proud of her...

We are also in the process of organizing our move. We are currently searching for a place to live, and selling most of our large possessions so that we don't have to hassle with taking them with us. (And so that we can pay our rent!) We've suprisingly sold most of what we were hoping would go... and as I was mulling over my day I suddenly felt sad that my stuff was being separated, and passed out... a lot of it for much, much less than we paid for it. Then I was reminded by the Lord of my true value... value that could only be found in the blood of Christ. I am not worth the things that I own, and I should not find my solace in these things that are unimportant. I am a traveler here... a stranger in a land that I will never be comfortable in. Mattew 8:20 speaks of the cost of following Jesus. In fact, Jesus himself speaks of the cost. When a man said to Jesus "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." He said "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Will I accept this? Will I choose Christ even if it means discomfort? Will I choose Christ even if it means sacrifice? Yes. And I will find my worth in the eyes of the one who made me! I will not be sad, but grateful for the opportunity to serve, and I am humbled that, though I am unworthy, I have been entrusted with these earthly treasures, for the Lord's purpose.

Please continue to pray for us. For our move and for us to have faith that the Lord will provide for our daily needs.